In the past week I have found out that my dad's new job did not come through. This is frustrating/scary/upsetting/life-changing (no, I am not being melodramatic) because I thought that:
a) We were going to start living a better life. He was promised a 50% salary raise.
b) We were going to be able to pay off the debt quicker.
c) My parents would stay with me in Beijing for a little longer.
In the midst of all the negative emotions, God has been showing me so many things. He has been dropping major hints that He is indeed alive and in charge.
1) Joe talking about community last week at Bongoes. Community here is great - a comfort should by parents leave.
2) Melinda pointing out to mommy that most of the church staff has been under spiritual attack. Could this be Satan's doing?
3) Joyce Hill going to church for the first time since she 'died' twice. What a miracle. Reminded me that God can do absolutely anything.
4) Ricky's nephew, Eathan, passing away due to a riot in Philippines. He gives and takes away but He is still nonetheless in charge.
5) Baptisms that have been happening in church. Touched my heart to see Penny Lyons, 5th grader last year, get baptized.
6) Reflecting on the past summer, me realizing that I am still a child at heart and depend so heavily on my parents.
7) Minor prophets devotion, which just so happened to talk about timing. Trust God's timing, have faith in it.
My head has been spinning and even though my heart is hurting and I am desperately pleading with God to let keep my parents by my side, I know that His way is the best. However, I cannot help but feel a little angry, even though I do realize that I have no right, because it feels like everything I get rooted down to a place and start enjoying myself, start properly fitting in, God has just shook my life and changed things. I would like things to be familiar and somewhat long lasting. It's painful and I'm confused. I'm upset and scared.
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