another woman's beauty IS NOT the absence of your own.

- a l e x e l l e

you are allowed to choose yourself first, to love yourself more + to freely remove anything or anyone who threatens your space with toxicity. give yourself permission to say "no" and mean it. you don't have to push yourself aside for the comfort of others, especially when they don't see, hear or respect you. walk in your truth knowing that you are allowed, that you belong to yourself + that anything less than loving isn't welcomed or wanted. - a l e x e l l e

Being in the Presence of God

Brother Lawrence's only means of going to God was to do everything for the love of Him. He was thus indifferent about what he did. All that mattered was that he did it for God. It was He, not the activity, that he considered. He knew that the more the thing he did was opposed to his natural inclination, the greater was the merit of his love in offering it to God. He knew that the pettiness of the deed would not diminish the wroth of his offering, because god - needing nothing - considers in our works only the love that accompanies them.

"If it please you, give these kinds of favors and consolations to sinners and to the people who don't know You, in order to attract them to Your service. As for me, who has the happiness of knowing You by faith, I think that must be sufficient. Still, because I should not refuse anything from a hand so rich and generous as Yours, I accept, O my God, the favors You give me. Yet grant, if it please You, that after having received them, I may return them just as You gave them to me; for You well know that it is not Your gifts that I seek and desire, but Yourself, and I can be content with nothing less.“ 

The break

When I was in HK for the October holiday, I raised the idea of taking a break to Tim. It's not that I don't love him anymore, it's that I love him too much. I want to, I need to, I must, put God before him.

The moments building up to THE moment was easy, because I knew in my heart that it was the right to do. I felt peace within, peace from God. I remember lying in bed and hugging him as tightly as possible, trying to tell him my plan as gently as possible. I lay behind him, wrapping my arms and legs around him and trying to melt myself into his bodies. It was easy telling him. But it was hard realizing that he no longer wanted to hug me, no longer wanted to comfort me. And of course, that seems natural and is something I should have expected. I guess I simply did not think so far ahead.

It was even harder getting him to understand where I was coming from. Explaining to him what I felt was wrong with our relationship - that was painful. But the hardest part was telling him that I need to love God more than I love him. That's the thing though - that should be the easiest. I should love God so much that my love for Tim pales in comparison. Right now, that's not what is happening.

Through the next few days, Tim and I discussed what we should do. He agreed with me that we need a life with more of God. We need a relationship that is entirely based around God. I don't know if it is possible. Yes, all things are possible with God who strengthens us, but we are humans and we will fail. With that in mind, we want to try.

We have decided to give each other more space. Funny isn't it - taking a break and giving each other more space essentially leads to the same point, yet because of the way it's phrased, one provides comfort and hope while the other seems more cold and isolated.

Right now, we have decided to talk twice a week, once during the weekend and once during the week. We will talk and catch up and hopefully, we will uplift the name of God during the time together. I thank God for such a discernment, that I wold know something was amiss. And I thank Him even more for the courage to do something about it. It was hard, and it was painful. At times I am lonely and regret and waver, but I keep telling myself that this is better for the long run. I remind myself that God is with me, in me, all the time. All the time, God is good.

I am even more in love with Tim because of the fact that he is willing to do this for me, and for God. I love him because I know that he loves God. I love him for affirming my love in God, and for encouraging me to pursue my relationship with God instead of with him.


I told Tim, "Right now we are 1+1=2, but when we come back together we will be 1+1=3."

Me, God, and Tim.

May I never forget. On my best day, that I still need God as desperately as I did on my worst day.

VOGUE how to wear a strapless bra

First, the band (the bit that goes around your rib cage) must fit snugly and run parallel to the floor. This is what most women get wrong - I, for example, have apparently been wearing lingerie that's one to two band sizes too large. Then, the underwire must come to rest under your arms, not up front against your rib cage. And finally, the front section between the underwires should "tack," or rest against your skin. There, now you have the three steps to fitting...

Bless this town

James 5:17-20:

Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover a multitude of sins.



Listened to this mini sermon during the ONE. We should be inclined to pray and ask God to BLESS anything that troubles us, instead of complaining.

May God bless Beijing, may He bless us with great weather and blue skies.

Moussy

Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain.

Pandora bracelet

Tim bought me a Pandora bracelet and he chose two charms for me, Faith & Caring. He said he chose Faith because my faith was being tested by my friends this semester, and Caring because he feels that I nonetheless, always care for them.

Watermark church, 1 Corinthians 14:1-25

If someone were to record you, would they see something beautiful in the way you interact with other people? Would it show a love for the gospel? Or a love for yourself ?

Do you show that the gospel is beautiful? Paul wants us to build others up and in the process, show that the gospel is beautiful.

- Tongues are great but for the church purposes, it is not as edifying as prophesying
- God wants us to help show love and uplift others

Snipits from the message by the Pope

"I know that many of you are on the front lines in meeting the challenges of adapting to an evolving pastoral landscape, like Saint Peter, I ask you, that regardless of the difficulties and trials that you face, be at peace and respond to them as Christ did. He gave thanks to the father, took up his cross and looked forward."

"Rest is needed, as are moments of leisure and self-enrichment, but we need to learn to rest in a way that depends our desire to serve with generosity. Closeness to the poor, the refugee, the immigrant, the sick, the exploited, the elderly living alone, prisoners and all god's other poor, will teach us a different way of resting, one which is more Christian and generous."